Are you happy? Right now? No? Happiness is not a stable state. It feels like it is coming and going; one minute we sense it, a second later we don’t. Things happen to and in our mind, mostly out of our control, that give us this good vibration. The issue is that it just doesn’t last long.
And how is happiness different from joy and contentment? Can you be joyful, but not happy; or happy but not content? Short answer, Yes.
Joy is very much linked to your inner state of being and meaning. The stable rest in yourself. Contentment is the satisfaction with where you are and what you have. Both, being joyful and feeling content are desirable, though sometimes hard to achieve. The difficulty in getting there is the environment we live in. “Time is money.” “Resting is rusting.” “Flavor of the day.” All these sayings suggest that taking moments of peace are incompatible with society and makes you an outsider.
Plus, all the advertisement you are bombarded with (studies suggest that we see between 4,000 and 10,000 ads every day, many we don’t even notice). The majority of messages in these ads tell you that it’s easy to get happy, … just buy what they promote.
And here is the catch. For a fleeting moment we appreciate this new thing; it triggers positive emotions. But it rarely delivers us lasting joy, neither does it help to be more content, because there is already the next thing waiting. The next TV spot, the next billboard, the next social media post gets the attention.
Science calls it “Conditional Happiness”. I am going to be happy when … such and such happens (getting the new car, getting more money, getting the promotion). You can see how this is a never-ending cycle of desire and disappointment.
Start to change your perspective. Practice gratitude in the present. Be thankful with what you have and where you are, even, or especially, when it is not exactly where you want to be. Focus on the process not the outcome. Understand that consuming more and more, faster and faster, hands all the control over your life to others. Gain back control of your own destiny.